Today was Better

An email to our family on September 9th:

It’s been a ROUGH week.  Tuesday and Wednesday were the days that Ameena realized that she wasn’t going to see out of her eye and was VERY sad.  “I want to open and see out of BOTH of my eyes!”

She’s been cranky, demanding, rude, you name it.  She’s pretty much been calling all the shots as we have felt so bad for her and also were trying everything, bribes, etc. to get her to take her medication and put the drops in her eyes.

Caleb and I both lost it emotionally yesterday and finally really cried after all that has happened. Things like work projects, clients, and studying have been put on hold and today was the first day that Caleb actually got any real work done since the kids and I were gone for part of the day.

We implemented a timer for the eye drops, and were having to hold Ameena down screaming to get them in.  She and I finally had a showdown last night.  She wanted to go on a short outing with the rest of the family.  We hesitated but she wanted so badly to go so we agreed, but there were some essential things she needed to do to be able to go – wear her patch, put on her shoes, put her drops in her eyes.  No, No, NO.  So, the rest of the family went in and in the car she and I sat.  For 45 minutes.  I continued to calmly hold my ground and she cried and held hers.  At one point I had to get out of the car and stand by while she cried.  We talked a lot about how she wants to be able to see, that she’s in pain, that she’s sad.  All, very understandable and I let her vent and process.  I also shared that she still needs to find a way to be loving and kind.  Finally, she agreed.

Today has been better.  We let her wear sunglasses instead of the patch for part of the day.  She was able to open both eyes for a brief time.

Since we haven’t been able to wash her hair in the tub, I took her to get her hair washed at the salon and Ivy braided her hair (this was the first time her hair has been washed in over 5 days and it was quite the mess after sleeping in a hospital bed).  Today was the first day of our Options school for the year so I took her to her to see her classroom and meet her teachers.

She hasn’t had the narcotic pain med since last night and only had 2 doses of motrin.

We still have screaming battles over drops and attitude (she had a lengthy time out just prior to bedtime), but they are less.  Presents are fun, but each time she gets something the other kids don’t get, she has a period of being very demanding and tries to run the show (currently 2 of her toys are in time-out themselves. 

This has by far been the most difficult experience of our lives.  We’ve had great help from our friend Deb helping us figure out how to manage all of the medications, drops, etc., friends bringing over meals, our Pastor came over and prayed for her, and people like my mom jumping in to watch the kids, or transport one or all of them.  It’s been almost impossible to care for the other kiddos.  Yesterday, Deb showed up in the doorway with lunch, did the dishes, and played with the kids while I got Haleigh and Ameena down for a nap (while Caleb ran to a short meeting for FreeSpeech).  It’s been quite an ordeal for all of us.

Today she told me that her eye is “not as blindy” while she had her glasses off for a few moments and her eye open.  But, I didn’t ask her to cover the good eye to really assess.  This would actually be fairly pointless until the stitches are out in 4-6 weeks, as they are right in her line of sight.

Overall, today we are encouraged and have had some mini-successes.  I just wanted to give you a brief update and ask you to continue to pray with us for healing, patience, and soothing to Ameena’s heart and mind in addition to her eye.
As hard as this all has been, the hardest part is knowing that her tender little heart is just hurting.

She’s in the angry stage of grieving and I know it will pass.

It’s so hard not to be able to just kiss it and make it better.

“I need Thee ev’ry hour,
Most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine
Can peace afford.

I need Thee ev’ry hour,
In joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide,
Or life is vain.”
-Annie S. Hawks

We have a weekly appointment with the cornea specialist until the stitches have been in for 4-6 weeks.  Our next appt in on Monday afternoon.

Thanks for praying!

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